Dead but alive

Dead but alive

I saw me at a grave yard



Standing at the gateway


My hair falling at my face


And the breeze blowing them away


My dress hanging lose below my knees


I almost looked like an abundant spirit


I saw your car pass by


But you did not stop for a visit


I looked at you


Until I could see you no more


A tear rolled down my face


In my hand I held a phone


I looked at the screen


Blank


Then I saw me smile


I saw myself turn back


And walk for a while


And she vanished


Leaving just the phone behind


I ran to pick that up


I checked the call list


No calls


An empty inbox


Just your no. saved with your name


And 365 messages in the drafts


A message for each day


I wondered why had I not sent them


I begun to read them all one by way


And I realized


Two things


That I was unconditionally


In love with you


And second


I was dead


But still my spirit wandered


In hope that one day


You might miss me


And try to know where I was


You might try to contact me


Which you seemed not to


You did not even remember my birthday


May be you have forgotten me


May be you need me no more


I felt so angry


And so upset


How could you be so rude


I almost crushed the rose


I had brought for myself


Realizing this I simply


Kept it on my grave


Bid myself good bye


And raced towards your home


You had just reached home


Your wife greeted you at the door


Your daughter came running and


Insisted you to take her in your arms


Sunny came running and hugged you too


You kissed them on their forhead


And moved in


You are so happy


I don’t know why but


Your happiness was making me


More uncomfortable


How could you forget me so easily?


I was about to burst out of anger


It was then I noticed you


Walk out in your balcony


Where you had grown a rose plant


It had boomed a new rose in it


You kissed it and said happy birthday


Sweetheart


No


No you hadn’t forgotten me


You remembered me


I wished to run back to me and tell me


That I did not need to cry


And there on the other end


I noticed myself


Smiling


And then I understood


Why had I smiled then


You had kept me alive all


These years


You dialed my number


And then erased it


You simply wished that


I must be happy wherever I am


With my family


Family??


Hello


Don’t you know


I am somewhere far away


Very far from family and friends


Alone


Silent


And yes I miss you


And you think I would


Be happier without you


You miss me too, don’t you?


They say time is the best healer


You will be ok


Soon


You will be ok


Soon


You will forget me


And I will


Then I will


Die for real

Falling asleep

I am sitting by the piano

Running my fingers over the keys

It’s your face that’s flashing through my mind

Every word that you said

Seems to echo in this empty room

I love you

Love you

You

Where have you been?

I missed you

Missed you

You

I am yours

You are mine

My sacred love

Love

Love

And then it

Fades away

And now I am surrounded by silence

I look at the clock

Even it doesn’t seem to move

My world has come to a halt

I see you walk out

Watching carefully

Every step that you are taking

You stomped at the letter

I had left by the door

I am frozen at my place

Not even tears dare to roll down

In my mind I am shouting

Don’t go

Please don’t go

And my lips won’t stir

I know you think

I am stubborn

Heard hearted

That I never loved

And I am back in the same room

But this time I am singing

Singing merrily

That I miss you

Because I know you won’t hear

You won’t know either

As I say I love you

Before falling into a deep sleep